How to structure a coaching session that actually moves things forward

Open — 5 minutes

Start with what has happened since last time, including what they committed to. Ask about it directly and without judgement: "What happened with the conversation you were going to have?" If you skip this, commitments quietly stop meaning anything.

Focus — 5 minutes

Agree what this hour is for before you dig in. "What would make this session worth your time?" and then, crucially, "how will you know we got there?"

Clients often name a topic rather than an outcome. Topic: "my team". Outcome: "I want to leave knowing how I will handle Friday's conversation with Priya." Push gently for the second.

Explore — 30 minutes

This is the session. Your job is to ask questions that open up thinking, then stay quiet long enough for the client to do it. Most coaches talk too much here; silence after a good question is where the work happens.

• •What have you already tried, and what did it tell you?
• •What are you assuming that might not be true?
• •If you knew you could not fail, what would you do first?
• •What is the cost of leaving this as it is?
• •What would you advise a friend in this position?

Commit — 10 minutes

Insight that never becomes action is entertainment. Close the loop with something specific enough to be checked: what exactly, by when, and what might get in the way.

One or two actions is plenty. A list of six is a list nobody does. Ask "on a scale of one to ten, how likely are you to do this?" — anything under eight means the action is too big, and you should shrink it before the session ends.

Close — 5 minutes

Ask what they are taking away, in their own words. It cements the session and tells you what actually landed, which is often not what you thought. Confirm the next session, then send a short note afterwards with the agreed actions.

What to do between sessions

The month between sessions is where results are won or lost. A light touch works best: the actions written down where the client can see them, a way for them to log progress, and a short check-in message if something was fragile. You are not policing anyone — you are making it easy to keep the promise they made themselves.

Common questions